Do you have any idea?

Do you have any idea how is it like to have your dreams shattered? Just because you chose to tell me that last minute? Do you know how hard it is? Something that I have been working hard to achieve all this while.Do you have any idea how much it hurts? I don't want to hear it anymore.I don't want to hear you mention it.I don't want to hear complaints..There's no place for regrets now, and what I can only do now is to open my heart and accept reality, hoping for the best to come. :)

Pretty necklace

Saw this pretty necklace from Queen's Dowry on Etsy. I want! :) But its so expensive and you have to order online..:( and I have already made a purchase for something else.Ah well, let's see how that purchase turns out before I make another one..Hope it all turns out well..

What have I done?

I have traded my health in due to A2 trials.I'm weak as I type.I barely have the strength..I totally overestimated the strength of my immune system.I realised that it's not worth it, I need my health as well for me to excel.I want it back, but I totally have no idea what to do.I don't know what made me put my health at risk.Probably because I felt insecure.I knew I was struggling again and I didn't want to face the pain all over again.Plus,I have no idea how to catch up with the lectures after trials.That's why I put everything in for the trials, hoping that the trials would at least give me some reassurance.I have done so much harm to my health and I now want to turn the clock back.What do I do?Wuuu, help me.. What have I done? I only have vivid dreams when I'm stressed out.And I dreamt of you twice.I guess the dream sort of reflects that I tend to seek you for consolation when I'm unhappy, worried and stressed out.You probably won't see this post as you wouldn't know I have updated it. :P Wuu no doubt you are a good listener and having you by my side for me to rant all my problems to makes me feel so much better,much relieved.However, I think I have disturbed you with my problems too many times...I shall leave it to fate to bring you here my darling...:) Thank you so much wuuu. Love ya, my bestie.<3 All the best for Chem trials and A2!:)

The Year Spent

1. Self

I have gained much by reflecting on myself, my personality, my character, my temper( haha). I personally believe, that heeding people's advice and criticism is essential for one's personal development and the surroundings that one is situated in does more or less affect the behaviour of a person. I recall myself a year ago to the me now, and I am glad that I have improved much. I do not regret enrolling in Taylor's College Subang Jaya (not Sri Hartamas) although it is situated very far away from my house because otherwise I would not have known pm10 and gained excellent friends who would always be there for me when in need.=)

2. Friendship

"Why do you always put your friends above yourself?" My sister frequently questions me. That's probably because I do rely on my friends a lot and I feel that I am no where without them.There is an old saying that goes something like this :'' In the real world, you are out there by your own, without your beloved family members, the only shelter for you would be your friends.'' In addition to that, many say that a true friend who would help you out when caught up in a difficult situation is hard to find and I feel warm at heart that there are some would willingly do that for me.

Quote by Jiun Jiun (Jynniez Teh), my best girl friend and "sister" : '' Thank you for your company during the countdown.Although I can't accompany you on the bus already, but I will always keep you in my heart." Thank you Jiun Jiun for being by my side during the half of my secondary years and half of my college days, I really appreciate it.True friends will never be apart , we might be apart in distance but never in heart!=) This is for you :

A friend is someone we turn to

when our spirits need a lift,

a friend is someone we treasure

for our friendship is a gift.(credits to coolnsmart.com)

How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to.=D

=>Another big thank you to my best friend and " little brother" in college Wuwu who would never let me be there for him but would always be there for me when I am in need. =P It is because of you that I have improved in my studies and that I have become less hot-tempered (haha) .Thank you for being my tutor, my bodyguard, my badminton coach,my therapist and my tower of support. This is for you :Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose.I hope our friendship will never end.=) ( I don't know why the spacing is like this)

3.Trust

Some of my close friends often ask me :" Eh, Steph , why you trust me so much? You're not afraid that I'll tell other people your stuff?" Well , I don't know why either. But if you know me well , my life is full of ups and downs , and if I keep it all bottled up , I think I'll go crazy eventually . So, I'll just have to trust you and take the risk right?=P I have been betrayed and deeply hurt by some of my best friends before; but what's done is done, hence I feel that it would be better to forgive and forget than keep a grudge. However, I hope history will not repeat itself.

4. Wonder

I often wonder why some of my friends are willing to help me out in my studies without expecting any return, from Tze Lim and Han Yao to Wuwu, Ami , Eng Hean and Howard.Getting an A+ for Additional Math for SPM would be impossible without Tze Lim's and Han Yao's help; I vividly remember myself getting all upset because I only managed a borderline pass in the particular subject .As for A Levels, I have improved by a grade or two for each subject with the help of my peers.I am glad to have known them and I wish these good people success in their future.

5.English

I have been busy trying to improve my grades for my A levels subject that I barely have the time to read English books and magazines and I feel that my command of English has lowered down by quite a lot.Now, I am unable to write an descriptive essay with poems and bombastic words.=( However , comparing my personal statements for my universities and for student exchange, I feel that although my range of vocabulary in my writing has narrowed, but my essays now flows naturally, relating from one paragraph to another.=)

6.Law

Having good written English is not the only requirement of a lawyer but good spoken English is also essential so that messages by a client could be conveyed clearly.However, looking at my TOEFL and A levels scores, I can't seem to fulfill the requirements.

Reading:26/30,Listening:25/30,Speaking:17/30,Writing:29/30,Total:97/120

A lawyer who can write but not speak? Who's going to employ me later? I'll have to retake the test again.=(

Besides that, 3A's for A levels to be able to pursue a degree in law in UK seem unrealistically high for me.Perhaps, Law just isn't the career for me , it's not in my destiny. However, I don't want to give up that easily.It's just not me.I want to keep trying , until I reach the dead end.

7.Birthdays and Celebrations

My parents often ask me why I seldom invite friends over to my house as compared to my sister.Well, erm.... What is there to do in my house?We can't possibly play on one laptop all day like my sister and her friends does , can we? Besides, you can play on your own laptop any day any time at your own house, right?=D Party? I have had a birthday party only once in my lifetime, I most certainly do desire to have a party with a proper birthday cake again.However, it seems impossible because of my birth date. It being in early January and most people would be busy with their errands.=( But to me, it's not really important, as long as I know that I have a loving family and people who care for me, I'm happy.=) Besides that, I think my birth date is rather auspicious and easy to remember.=P

8. Travelling

I love travelling to various countries because it helps me realise certain things. For instance, my trip to Japan recently, after witnessing their lifestyle, I felt grateful that I am Malaysian and not Japanese. Japan is a highly developed country with advanced technology, however, I feel that the Japanese have everything and yet have nothing. The people there are so cold, so robotic, so individualistic.....My trip to Japan certainly have made me appreciate what I have now.

9. Memories

''2011.A brand new year.A fresh new start. Beautiful memories awaiting to be unraveled.=)''-Stephanie Chee

Some people say that college years are the best years of a person's life , I won't know for sure whether it'll be true but if it were to be , I would definitely want to capture these memorable moments down, whether in heart, in writing or in photos.I would want to look back and remember the crazy stuff we did together,the silly smiles we had on our faces when we did it.2010 had been fun : Adventure Race, frozen yogurt, shopping , movies, bowling , swimming, badminton etc. and I hope 2011 would be greater.=)

10. Resolutions

- I will put in more effort in my studies and hope for the best

-I will continue to work on building my character and personality to be a better person

-I will be more disciplined

-I will appreciate and love my family more

-I will be more aware of current affairs

-I will exercise more often

-I will be more patient

-I will be less hot-tempered

11.Wishes

Wishes might not come true if I say them out so I shall keep it to myself.XP I hope all of your wishes come true too!

This is me at the end of 2010 and the start of 2011.Slightly changed. Hopefully I'll be a better person at the end of 2011.

Perserverance

太阳既可燃烧,

人也可发光发热,

但必须经过挫折,

坚持,恒心,耐心不可无,

天下无难事,只要有心人;

出头天地无不可能也......

Nooo!!!!!!

The dates for the Ekiden Run and Walk for World Pink are too close. Which one should I opt for ?

Run for a cause.

Join this Event ! Help the world ! Serve the community!

That night , the place will be illuminated in pink as a symbol of the Breast Cancer Organization. It would be beautiful.

click this link for more information :

http://www.hooha.asia/images/pdf/WalkforWorldPink.pdf

I am also interested in joing this event .

Ekiden Run

It is a traditional japanese event where 5 runners are needed to complete a 15km run around Putrajaya. I need 4 more people to complete my team, so if you are interested, please contact me.

Participation fee is RM 30 for juniors. (13-17 years old) . Finisher medals will be given upon completion of the race.